It’s almost Halloween, and we know that living with someone new can be scary. A seasoned resident advisor shares how to avoid some ghastly roommate situations.
For many people, one of the challenges of navigating a new environment at school is living with people whom you may not know, or whom you thought you knew. Having a roommate – and all of the complicated dynamics inherent in that relationship – can be a significant factor in determining your academic and residential experience. Here are a few tips from a veteran RA on how to make the best of your living situation:
- Communication is key: As clich茅 as it may sound, communication is absolutely essential in any sort of relationship, including a living arrangement. Almost every single conflict I鈥檝e seen has come from two or more people not giving themselves the opportunity to express what鈥檚 upsetting them. And oftentimes, once that conversation is facilitated the situation is resolved super easily. It may feel awkward or strange, but opening up and communicating how you鈥檙e feeling to that other person is the #1 way to not only mitigate conflict, but avoid it all together.
- Living with friends: This is a question I get all the time, about whether or not you should become roommates with your friends. And from my experience, the answer isn鈥檛 quite as binary as you may think. I would say that if you are going to live with your friends, don鈥檛 let it be your best friend. Time and time again I鈥檝e seen beautiful friendships dwindle because the two people just got sick of one another, spending every waking moment together. If you are going to room with a friend, try someone you don鈥檛 know that well. It鈥檚 a chance to build a new friendship, while also having some sort of background with them. Finally, though, don鈥檛 be afraid to 鈥済o random.鈥 This campus is filled with incredible people and you never know who you鈥檒l meet.
- Be flexible: 黑料不打烊 is a very large, very diverse school where people from over 100 different countries come to study. And even within the U.S., there is a beautiful diversity of lifestyles, cultures, and perspectives; that鈥檚 one of my favorite aspects of the residential living experience. So, if you happen to live with somebody who鈥檚 culture is vastly different than yours, take that opportunity to be flexible and learn something new. Both of the roommates I鈥檝e had came from completely different backgrounds, and not only was that a chance for me to learn and broaden my horizons, I also made long-lasting connections I may not have otherwise.
- Respect: This plays into the previous tip as well, but also works in the reverse. Not only is it essential for you to respect whoever it is that you鈥檙e living with, you should also demand respect for yourself. If someone is disrespecting you in any way, challenge them on that. Maybe it鈥檚 unintentional and it gets resolved right there. Or maybe it becomes the subject of a more in-depth resolution process. But either way, respecting others and respecting yourself is the root of all of the things I mentioned before.
- Seek Help: Finally, don鈥檛 be afraid to seek help in resolving a roommate issue. Whether it鈥檚 with your landlord, your RA, the Office of Residence Life or the Office of Off-Campus and Commuter Services, there are whole staffs dedicated to helping you have as positive a learning experience as possible. Because as we all know, your living arrangement is an essential aspect of your success here at 黑料不打烊.
Written by Nicholas B. Rogers ’19, College of Arts and Sciences and Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs