Ever fallen short of something? Missed the mark? Been rejected at a job or internship? Gotten heartbroken? Hit a wall? Come up short? Felt as though everything you ever desired was attainable, but ended up being out of your reach?
Setbacks happen to all of us. It may also seem as though they happen often. When they do, it is very normal to feel a range of emotions鈥攗pset, disappointed, disheartened, impatient, frustrated and let down. However, we may also find that, had one of these setbacks not occurred, had a door not closed on us, a new door might not have opened for us, potentially leading us to miss out on an important lesson or new experience.
One of my personal examples has been when I applied for early decision to another university during the college application process. I thought, 鈥淚 have this in the bag!鈥 Well, it turns out I did not have it in the bag and was rejected. I remember being at a cafe with my parents, and what was supposed to be a celebratory dinner was a silent, somber meal. But now, I think of all the opportunities that facing what was then a gut-wrenching decision led me to. I would not be a 黑料不打烊 student, for one, and would have missed out on a lot of opportunities that I have had during my time here.
This is why the 鈥淒oors Closed, Doors Open鈥 approach is particularly useful. Essentially, it serves to reframe our setbacks as lessons and embrace change, welcoming new opportunities and possibilities. Through this approach, we can reflect on the times in our lives when we have experienced said setbacks in different situations through a lens of mindfulness and gratitude to cultivate a mindset of growth and account for silver linings.
To practice this approach, you can consider the following two prompts (and may also journal, if you鈥檇 like):
- First, think about a time in your life when you failed at something, were rejected, missed out or your plan did not go as you thought it would. This is a point in your life where a door closed. Briefly reflect on that situation.
- Second, think about what happened after. What was your response to that “rejection” or “failure,” and what doors opened after as a result of your response? What would have never happened if the first door didn’t close? Briefly reflect on that, too.
You may find yourself thinking, 鈥淲ow, I had never thought of it that way!鈥 or 鈥淗ey, I would have missed out on a lot of great opportunities if that one rejection had not happened,鈥 just like I did when I was rejected from the first college I had applied to.
In short, mindfulness grants us the opportunity to appreciate the now and remind ourselves that setbacks are not the end of the road, but simply a part of the journey, and that new paths are always being forged and unfolded. So, the next time you feel as if you have landed in a jam, take a deep breath, meditate, journal and jam out to 鈥淯nwritten鈥 by Natasha Bedingfield, groove to 鈥淪econd Time Around鈥 by Shalamar or sway to 鈥淭he Climb鈥 by Miley Cyrus, and embrace the belief that good things are coming your way.
Written By Mariana Zepeda 鈥26, Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs